July 4 a.k.a. Independence Day
To the editor:
We are about to celebrate our first summer holiday known as Independence Day, a very meaningful day in American history and yet we celebrate in vain. If we had to go out and get Independence and bring her to the party, where would we look for her? She is on the endangered list I know. I think you can still find her in a few red states. Best to start the search in one of those I suppose. When you locate her make sure you have a robe and a pair of sandals because I hear she has been stripped down to bare skin. We can feed her at the party, the word is she is also very hungry.
Once you find a trace of her, follow it and place your trap as close as possible. I’ve heard that either a wood frame or CBS structure will work as she has not had a place to live in for a while, they took her house. She can not manufacture goods or produce her own domestic energy anymore, so be sure to cover those bases as well to make a trap look believable. Finally, you need to get her to the party. This is where everyone gets stuck. That alternative fuel is not in stores yet, so there’s no transportation. Besides, even if it was available, most people could not afford its inflated price. So I guess you can just take a quick peek to see what she looks like and then let her go. Maybe snap a picture as well to remember what she looks like because we many never see her again with conditions the way they are. She owes so many people money that I suspect she will flee the country.
It’s a shame no one cared enough about her to bring her numbers back up. She was a really great gal. Had so much going for her. They say she will be missed by some, but most won’t notice what they never had. No worries, except can we still have this holiday? I guess we can keep the day off if we rename it soon. Just throw that document out that was signed in 1776. It’s so old you can’t hardly read it anyway. Maybe the new document can be called Lack of Independence Day signed by Reid, Obama, Biden, Pelosi and Frank.
ROB P.F. (ROB Precious Freedom)
Dawn Shevlin
St. James City